Grammy award-winning singer Duffy has shared her horrific account of being raped, drugged and kidnapped, for ‘her life, and for the life of others, whom have suffered the same’.
The 35-year-old Welsh artist, full name Aimee Anne Duffy, uploaded an Instagram post in February revealing to the world that she had been ‘raped and drugged and held captive over some days’.
This led the Mercy singer to retreat from the spotlight in subsequent years. Now, in a full blog post, Duffy has described the harrowing details of the ordeal.
‘I can only hope that my words serve as a momentary distraction or maybe even some comfort that one can come out of darkness,’ she wrote.
Duffy, who won three Brits and a Grammy for her 2008 debut album Rockferry, appeared to disappear following the release of her second album in 2010. After feeling ‘tired of hiding’, she realised there was never going to be a ‘right time’ to release her account. ‘I had become enmeshed with my story like a dark secret. It made me alone and feel alone,’ she wrote.
Prior to the details of her kidnapping, Duffy does caution readers: ‘I must warn you it contains information some may find upsetting. This story is not going anywhere, it will remain online, if you are not able to take on someone else’s suffering or the recounting of such, I recommend you do not read on.’
It was my birthday, I was drugged at a restaurant, I was drugged then for four weeks and travelled to a foreign country. I can’t remember getting on the plane and came round in the back of a travelling vehicle. I was put into a hotel room and the perpetrator returned and raped me. I remember the pain and trying to stay conscious in the room after it happened. I was stuck with him for another day, he didn’t look at me, I was to walk behind him, I was somewhat conscious and withdrawn. I could have been disposed of by him. I contemplated running away to the neighbouring city or town, as he slept, but had no cash and I was afraid he would call the police on me, for running away, and maybe they would track me down as a missing person. I do not know how I had the strength to endure those days, I did feel the presence of something that helped me stay alive.
Later, she flew back with the attacker – who has not been named in the post – all while knowing her life ‘was in immediate danger’.
‘He made veiled confessions of wanting to kill me. With what little strength I had, my instinct was to then run, to run and find somewhere to live that he could not find,’ she added.
Following the incident, Duffy didn’t feel safe enough to go to the police. ‘I felt if anything went wrong, I would be dead, and he would have killed me. I could not risk being mishandled or it being all over the news during my danger. I really had to follow what instincts I had,’ she explained.
However, following threats of blackmail, she told female officers about the ordeal and a separate incident in which she was raped also. In the aftermath, Duffy wrote that she was at ‘high risk of suicide’. Fortunately, she found a psychologist to help her cope with the trauma.
I would not see someone, a physical soul, for sometimes weeks and weeks and weeks at a time, remaining alone. I would take off my pyjamas and throw them in the fire and put on another set. My hair would get so knotted from not brushing it, as I grieved, I cut it all off. I am sharing this because we are living in a hurting world and I am no longer ashamed that something deeply hurt me, anymore. I believe that if you speak from the heart within you, the heart within others will answer. As dark as my story is, I do speak from my heart, for my life, and for the life of others, whom have suffered the same. I have no shame in telling you either I had spent almost ten years completely alone and it still burns my heart to write it. I owe it to myself to say it, I feel obliged to explain how challenging recovering truly was and to finally disclose it. I hope it comforts you to feel less ashamed if you feel alone. In the future, Duffy wrote she feels obligated to herself to release a new body of work, however she doubts she’ll ‘ever be the person people once knew’.
In the future, Duffy wrote she feels obligated to herself to release a new body of work, however she doubts she’ll ‘ever be the person people once knew’.
Her post concludes with: ‘I can now leave this decade behind. Where the past belongs. Hopefully no more what happened to Duffy questions, now you know… and I am free.’